recently i've been in an ugly mood. it's like mad and extreme sadness. i get angry at sam for like no reason, and the poor dear just rtyes his hardest to make me smile. on monday i made him cry. i feel really bad but i don't know why i'm feeling like this. today my fundamentals teacher was talking about how to transition from panel to panel in a comis, and i had already looked at all the examles so i didn't look at the paper. i was listening to her but looked to be spacing out. she calls me out by saying " leslie are you going to look at the paper or just be in leslie land." that made me feel offended so i told her something like"well i had already looked at the examples, and i am listening so i don't see the problem" then she said "well, these print outs cost a lot of money, so you might want to pretend to care and follow along".
this all made me feel even worse. i wanted to cry, scream, idk. she finnished talking, then went to her desk...directly behind me. sam tryed to cheer me up...but that only made me want to cry more. my teacher then ignored me for the rest of the class. she would help everyone else and skip my desk.
I'm glad that you're using your blogger! This excites me to no end.
ReplyDeleteBut, moving on to a more serious note...
I feel the same way. I've expressed serious emotional outbursts on Tim, and I feel bad because, like you said, he also tries his hardest to make me smile as well.
I'm not sure why you're feeling angry. I know a lot of my anger comes from stress, especially art and art school related. I feel that a lot of my anger comes from my limitations and not having any control of what is happening around me.
I also feel like...usually I never, never, NEVER express true emotions to ANY-body. Like, if I ever cried in front of someone, it was either because I was getting yelled at or...the feeling becomes too powerful and overcomes me and I just have to cry; I can't hold it in.
And, I've never really yelled or screamed at anybody, other than people in my own family (I know it's disrespectful), but yeah, I've never showed real emotions of anger to anyone.
Except Tim.
Though its bad to take out emotions on people we love, if we looked at it positively, it shows how close we are to them...
I don't really know what it is; maybe its cause we've held in our emotions in for a long time, and someone is actually WILLING to be there for us...I'm not sure, but I know that it shows that their close to us...close enough that we don't have to hide, you know?
I hope you know I'll always be there for you. Is there anything I could do to help?