Mr. Brown

Four days ago I wrote Jeffrey Brown and e mail appologizing for being creepy. Then I asked him if he knew Craig Thompson. Today I checked my e mail to find that he had in deed responded to my e mail. He wrote that he didn't think that it was creepy at all, and that he must have felt a little off, that it is easier when hes at the other side of the table...maybe he was a little nervous about getting his book signed. cute. Oh, then he said that he did know Craig Thompson but that he didn't see him that much cause Craig lives in Portland. I wrote him again today asking if it wouldn't be too bold to ask if sometime in the future he saw some of my work...must improve before that. lost of improvement...and need to make stuff. :( lol

I'm feeling a little bit off, but I'm trying to do other stuff so I don't think too much. hope April liked her Flan. :)

Remembering

I keep on remembering how my life used to be like a few years ago. I felt happier back in junior hig, even freshman year in high school. idk what changed. Maybe it was growing up and realizing that life is not as nice (for a lack of a better word) than I had imagined as a child. I am happyy in a new way, but I still feel as if something is missing.

Whenever I am with Sam, i have the tendency to cry. Why? I want to be happy, like people say you are, I guess I shouldn't look at what others see as happiness, cause it is never the same for 2 people, and just focus on finding what makes me happy, I want to make Sam as happy as I feel on certain days.

I have this feeling of getting rid of all the old things from my past that do nothing to help in the present. I'm going to clean my house of useless stuff, and either give it away, sell it, or throw it away. I just want to help my family to get their things together and comtinue to grow as individuals. I think that the ones that need the most help are: Jenny, John and dad. They all have their own problems, I'm not saying that mom and I don't, it just seems like they need the most help in dealing with them. It is as if they haven't realized they have them, or are too angry and proud to do anything about them.

At school

So here i am at school, waiting for sam to finish his paper on the Buddha comic we read. i still haven't finished drawing out my comic. I feel like my layout is boring, so i'm probably going to re-daw stuff. it's so frustrating. and april, it is hard to draw out the same character over and over. i don't like it....well i do, but it's a lot of work.

Today is the concert, and my mom was freaking out that it would end at 1. i know she worries about me cause i'm her daughter, but she should learn to just let go a little more. i am going to be leaving my house someday, might aswell get used to me not being around so much. IDK.....i just want to draw well already.

At Sam's

So i spent the night at Samuel's house. It was pretty interesting. Matt met this girl named Christina on the Train (Metra) like a week ago, maybe a little more. So every time that he knew she would be on the train, he went on it. Turns out that she is studying to be a doctor. She is on her 3rd year.

So anyway, yesterday her family and her were having this Lent party. She invited Matt and told him he could bring Sam and if i wanted to go i could do so aswell. I agreed, and went to the lent party. We had chicken soup and bread with butter. After everyone was done (there were a lot of people, it was like a church thing but more relaxed) we were all given praer sheets, and were offered rosaries but neither Matt, Sam or I accepted the rosaries. They all started to pray, and the 3 of us just closed our eyes and meditated. It was pretty cool. I had nothing in my head. Aparently it took like 15 minutes to finish the rosarie. This whole time the 3 of us had our eyes shut. It was so cool, so relaxing. I felt so at peace.

We then cleaned up, and walked a round a lake for a while. Matt taught Christina's dad how to use his board. They gave us a ride to Sam's house.

Now i called my mom to tell her how i went to this religious thing, and she was like " I'm so glad you went to a religious thing. See, you are getting closer to god even if you don't want to." I told her that i wasn't and that being Catholic did not appeal to me. She made a big deal and i just told her that i didn't want it, that it wasn't for me.

I'm happy where i am (religion wise). I feel at peace. I just wish my mommy could see that.

foul mood

recently i've been in an ugly mood. it's like mad and extreme sadness. i get angry at sam for like no reason, and the poor dear just rtyes his hardest to make me smile. on monday i made him cry. i feel really bad but i don't know why i'm feeling like this. today my fundamentals teacher was talking about how to transition from panel to panel in a comis, and i had already looked at all the examles so i didn't look at the paper. i was listening to her but looked to be spacing out. she calls me out by saying " leslie are you going to look at the paper or just be in leslie land." that made me feel offended so i told her something like"well i had already looked at the examples, and i am listening so i don't see the problem" then she said "well, these print outs cost a lot of money, so you might want to pretend to care and follow along".

this all made me feel even worse. i wanted to cry, scream, idk. she finnished talking, then went to her desk...directly behind me. sam tryed to cheer me up...but that only made me want to cry more. my teacher then ignored me for the rest of the class. she would help everyone else and skip my desk.